Friday, August 2, 2013

The Role of the Feminine Mother; Starting to Teach Your Daughter Femininity

Good evening, reader!

One of the greatest joys for the feminine woman is her role as a mother for in her love for family and friends, she finds the nurturing qualities that the feminine woman is so known for released in a most potent form.

One must always ask, what is a feminine woman if she isn't nurturing and loving? Aren't those two qualities so ingrained in femininity that they can't be held anything but mutually inclusive, three parts that all come together to form the feminine woman? :-))

The feminine woman can express this loving and feminine side towards her family, such as her parents, her siblings, or her nieces and nephews. She can also express this towards her platonic loved ones, such as nurturing and caring for her friends. She can definitely express this towards her husband -- and why wouldn't she?

However, each kind of expression of nurturing and love is unique and varies based on the person she's expressing her love towards. Surely, the love and nurturing she expresses towards her parents wil be different from the kind she expresses towards her husband. And in that same way, the love she expresses towards her children will be equally unique.

Furthermore, not only does the feminine woman take great joy in raising her children, but she also takes great pride for she sees the true importance that lies within motherhood.

I must say that I agree with William Ross Wallace when he says: 'The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.'

Mothers and fathers have a very important and crucial role in the world, for in the way that they raise their children, they are affecting what the future of the world and of society will be like. The people living in the world will be the ones who affect what the world will look like fifty years from now -- and the good mothers and fathers want their children to do good, leaving the world better than how they found it. :-))

It's the parents who instill in their children the proper values to be loving and good citizens, and it's also the parents who teach their children to shun injustice, lack of fairness, and cruelty of heart.

Many femininity bloggers believe that children are best with someone who reflects feminine traits, however I must gently disagree with them, for I personally believe that children need a masculine figure in their lives just as much -- but perhaps in different ways. :-))

Photo from Madame Noire.
After all, wouldn't the feminine mother best be able to concentrate on her daughter, teaching her all about lovely feminine things (and the joys of being a woman) if she knew that her husband was there to protect and take care of the family, never letting anything happen to his lovely feminine wife or his precious darling daughter?

*A masculine figure in the home removes the stress from the feminine woman, allowing her to be fully present and free of concern because she knows that he's made sure that they're safe.

Also, remember that the way your daughter grows up seeing your husband treat you is the way she'll let a male treat her when she becomes old enough to start dating. The way your husband speaks to you, touches you, and speaks of you to her will affect what she tolerates or thinks is 'normal' in romantic relationships later on in life.

If your husband speaks to you with kind words and tone of voice, carresses you gently and respectfully, allows and encourages you to do things for yourself and pursue your own hobbies and interests separate from the home, and speaks highly of you to his daughter, your daughter will be more likely to end up with a man who treats her well because she had a good example growing up. :-))

(And, if you have a son, the way he grows up seeing his father treat you will teach him how to treat a woman later on in life.)

So, I think that recognizing the role of the masculine figure in the upbringing of our children is important to remember and remain conscious of as we reflect on how best to raise our daughter -- we must never raise her while feeling superior over her father simply because we are the feminine mother, but must instead always respect and appreciate his distinct role in her life.

{ The Role of the Feminine Mother; Teaching Your Daughter Femininity: Respect for Masculunity }

One of the most significant feminine qualities that many femininity sites and books leave out is the respect for masculinity. The feminine woman, unlike many women, is not at all threatened by a man's masculinity (nor does she act like she is). Instead of feeling the need to fight against it to 'prove herself', she realizes that 'winning' against someone is not only unimportant but also proves nothing and would instead prefer to work with a man's masculinity as his complementary counterpart instead of against it.

Something that's important to not overlook when teaching your daughter about femininity is to teach her about masculinity as well as something to be cherished, understood, and respected as her helper and sacred counterpart, not something that she has to feel threatened by to the point that she has to compete against it.

I think that it's good for you to openly praise and show respect for the positive masculinity of your daughter's father and her brothers, for they're her first encounter with masculinity and through them, she can start to become comfortable and appreciative of masculinity surrounded by the love and safety of her own home and family.

In the same stride, you can speak to your sons about femininity to teach them to cherish, value, and protect femininity instead of taking advantage of it. You can also teach them never see femininity as less strong because it's not as obvious as masculine strength, but to instead respect it as a different kind of strength that's no less powerful!

Growing up around males who are obviously masculine and love, cherish, and adore her being as she is will help her to feel confident in her femininity instead of ever feeling that it might be inferior to the masculinity of her father or brothers.

{ The Role of the Feminine Mother; Teaching Your Daughter Femininity: A Tender Heart }

Something that we should teach all of our children from a young age, regardless of masculine or feminine, is to have a kind heart. Of course such an important subject matter shouldn't be reserved for the feminine members of our family!

After all, wouldn't a high-value masculine male be one who, along with his masculine qualities, exercises a tenderness towards his children and his feminine wife? I think I would much prefer to teach all of my children to live life with a kind heart. :-))

However, it's impossible for a woman to be feminine without being kind and tender (while it's possible for a man to be masculine and cruel, as there's a difference between the light masculine high-value man and the dark masculine low-value man).

It's a good idea to start teaching your daughter about kindness, warmth, and tenderness of heart as soon as you start teaching her anything. Also, as well, make sure that you yourself are living life from a kind and tender heart all that you can because your children watch you, even when you don't know you're being watched, and they tend to 'follow the leader'.

If you try to tell your daughter to be kind-hearted, sweet, and tender but a lack of patience, poor temper, disrespect, and vulgarity of mind and mouth in your interactions with her father, your girlfriends, and others, then your words will be nothing more than empty lectures which very well shouldn't be said because they're simply going in one ear and out the other.

Don't simply tell your daughter to be kind, loyal, and tender with a gentle temperament, but show her how it's done in the way you treat her and her father in front of her. Your daughter is more likely to develop these lovely feminine characteristics by growing up watching you display them towards her father and towards those in your life.

As a feminine woman, lead your daughter through your feminine example

{ The Role of the Feminine Mother; Teaching Your Daughter Femininity: Self-Respect and Self-Esteem }

I think that it's important for both the mother and the father to team up when it comes to ensuring their daughter grows up into a girl who has high self-esteem and a great amount of respect for herself. 

Even though it's perfectly fine to dress her up in feminine garments and do her hair in a charming and becoming way, it's important to also let her know that you respect her mind and her talents as well as her beauty, preferably more so.

Sometimes I can't help but feel that little girls of ten years really shouldn't care whether or not they look feminine yet but should instead be concerned with whether or not they're carrying themselves with a tender heart while also developing their mind.

When it comes to the physical, your daughter should be concerned with neatness and dressing in a way that's respectful to the situation, but maybe not as much about 'beauty' because being concerned with beauty from such a young age can cause poor self-esteem.

Encourage your daughter to develop her mind by purchasing her books, asking her to read for you, having conversations with her about what she thinks, and complimenting her on her intellectual talents if she's showing any.

 Well, that's all for my article, 'The Role of the Feminine Mother; Starting to Teach Your Daughter Femininity.' I hope you enjoyed it!

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Laura said...

Hello Nina!
It was an amazing post. I really enjoyed. Much of what you said I learned from my beloved mother. Unfortunally, I had no masculine figure in my childhood, but my mother always taughted me to respect both genders. Nowadays, my dearest brother lives with us and I now have a masculine figure to respect and admire. He is kind, protective and so lovely with us and everyone else.
All the feminine qualities you have mencioned in your post I find in my sweet mother. I am blessed for having such a great family!
And now I am making my best to be the best daughter and sister they deserve! Thank you for making such amazing posts, you are an inspiration!

Best wishes,

Carmen said...

What a lovely blog. Wished all my female students studied it daily. I am adding it to my blog list.
Have a wonderful day ~

Roman Mallery said...

Beautifully balanced,examples both feminine and masculine can help children achieve a proper perspective of themselves and those of the opposite sex. One small thing I teach my children about being feminine, the joy of brushing hair. I sit my baby girl (10 months) on my lap and brush her hair. She sits so still and quiet, and it is a favorite bedtime routine. My 2 year old son loves to brush my hair, and though it often requires my help afterward I love giving him this special time with mum when I can.