Is your speech killing your femininity and elegance?

Is your speech killing your femininity?

New Private Consultation Feature

Some of you may have noticed the funny little graphic/button on the right sidebar of the blog. I am pleased to announce that I am now offering private consultations at $1.20/minute.

Use the button to discuss anything and everything ProperLady.com related. Want to talk about elegant fashion brands? The most ladylike perfume? The power of femininity? Gentlemen? Manners? Want to just chat and get to know one another?

I am happy to be at your service!

The button will tell you when I'm online, otherwise, feel free to make an appointment!

Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Nina

Ladylike Sundays: I Am NOT Your Sweetie!

I've experienced most sweet-talking among those in customer service.

Have you ever been called "baby," "honey," or "sweetie" by someone you barely know or perhaps by another person, even though you might be an adult just as much as he or she? This is something that I simply call the "Sweet Talking Epidemic," and it's taking over the United States (especially when it comes to customer service and sales).

Yesterday, I had someone unleash the "Sweet Talking Epidemic" on me. I was in the men's cologne department of Saks Fifth Avenue, smelling the different samples so that I could find one to give my romantic partner for his upcoming birthday (he's very picky and prefers something masculine, yet fresh and understated). As I was busy smelling samples and narrowing down the options, one of the men working there said, "Are you finding everything okay, sweetie?"

I simply responded, "Yes, thank you" but of course being sweet talked by him was like nails on a chalkboard for me, a sound that I was still recovering from.

I get a similar feeling when other women who are of my own age call me "honey" or "sweetie."

The reason why we should refrain from sweet talking one another is because it sounds like we're talking down on someone.

I'm 4'10 so I could most likely past for a girl in grade school if you mixed me up in a group of grade school students. So when someone who's an adult like I am calls me "sweetie" or "honey", I feel like they're talking down on me. "Sweetie" sounds like "little girl" or "precious" when it comes into my ear and it's just a bit degrading.

Another problem with baby talking is that it sounds very intimate, which makes it inappropriate for someone you barely know, especially if they are of the opposite sex. When a man who I don't know calls me "sweetie" or "honey", I always feel a bit uncomfortable and like I have to put some distance between us. Those kinds of phrases and pet names are really appropriate only with your intimates.

I use these kinds of names with my romantic partner and we're intimates (e.g. we've known one another for a long time). I also use these kinds of names with my niece, who's 19 years younger than I am.

I think that we should all make a little bit more of an effort to stop using these names unless we're with an intimate or a younger relative (like our own child or a niece or nephew). Calling someone you've just met "sweetie" or "honey" is not only condescending but also inappropriate.

This week, pay special attention to the way that you're speaking to other people. The goal should be to make them feel comfortable and respected, not condescended or uncomfortable due to pet names that are not in any way appropriate for those you barely know.

Until next time, this is Nina from TheProperLady.com, helping you to become more ladylike with each passing Sunday. Have a good week!

Ladylike Sundays: I Am NOT Your Sweetie!

Sweet-talking is very common among customer service reps.

This post is a part of my new weekly column, Ladylike Sundays, which I publish on Feminine Soul, a website and online community that seeks to be a resource for women wanting to unlock their full feminine potential.

To read the post, please click here.

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How Seaweed Can Increase Your Femininity

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"There is no fresh start; lives carry on." - Henry Francis, Mad Men.

How many of you have ever heard of someone talk about wanting a "fresh start" or doing something so that they can have a "fresh start"? I've definitely heard it more than a few times and I'm sure we've all heard it more than once. But recently, I was brought to wonder: Is there really such a thing as a fresh start? Is there truly ever a "fresh start" for a lady?

My Passion: Equestrianism

Hi Lovelies,

Today I'm writing a post that's a bit more personal and a break from the usual article-style informative posts to talk to you a little bit about one of my passions: equestrianism.

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 Those of you who follow me on Twitter and on the Facebook page will know that I recently returned from a short vacation in lovelier-than-lovely Charleston, South Carolina.

I came back to my desk at TheProperLady.com so incredibly inspired by the femininity of the women, by the history, and by the genteel manners of the locals.

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You too can have as much sophistication and culture as anyone else

Some people are born with more advantages than others.

Some grow up with more opportunities to refine themselves. Some grow up with more opportunities to become elegant, classy, cultured, and sophisticated.

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On your journey to form yourself into a lovely woman, a lethally feminine lady, and an elegant person of the highest caliber and quality, do you ever wish that you could learn to do it all while preserving a bit more mystery?

Do you wish that your appeal and allure could be more subtle and could be described more as "a certain je ne sais quois", versus something that one could put a finger on?

In all of the years that I've spent researching elegance, taste, the feminine arts, and forming oneself into a high-quality woman, it seems that no group of woman on a whole has matched the French when it comes to mystery and subtle feminine allure.

This concise e-report offers an inexpensive and convenient way for you to increase your mystery and subtle feminine allure, right from your own home.

No shipping costs, no need to wait 5-7 days for the delivery of a package, no need to drive out to attend a class with strangers.

The French Mystery and Allure report offers an inexpensive and convenient way for you to learn mystery and feminine allure from French women without having to get dressed or leave your home!

Click on the button below to start working on a more mysterious and alluring YOU!

The price of the e-report is $8. Please allow 1-2 days for the product to arrive in your Inbox.

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For some people, being classy and elegant is as easy as breathing. They never have to put thought into what is and is not the classy way to behave: class and elegance are simply parts of who they are. 

Being classy and elegant is second-nature to them.

Have you ever been jealous of them? Envious? Wishing that you too could hold yourself with more class and elegance and have it feel and look natural, instead of calculating or planned out?

Have you ever wished that you came form a family that taught you these things?

Have you ever wished that you were taught what they were taught when they were young?

I am very fortunate to have grown up in a family where I was taught lessons in elegance and class (and then lessons by example on what not to do by those certain few relatives who missed the lessons). 

Growing up with these lessons gives you a huge advantage when it comes to elegance and class and TheProperLady.com's goal is to give you these advantages. 

That's why I am proud to present The Modern Guide to Prep, a book that tells you what classy adults and those of the "old money" culture learn when they're young.

To create this resource for you, I have pulled from the lessons that I learned while growing up and I have also interviewed my classiest and most elegant friends and anyone else who I could find. 

Researching and creating this guide has helped me to become more classy, elegant, and ladylike which is why I know that it will help you as well.

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Rethinking Wealth

A few days ago I was on Twitter and I saw that the Emily Post Institute had tweeted this smart quote:

 

Not only did I find this quote to be very true and insightful, but I also found that it inspired me to encourage you lovelies to rethink the idea of wealth.

Improve Your Love Life with Femininity!

What extreme feminists don't want you to know about dating and relationships...

NEWSFLASH! 

Men, especially masculine high-quality men, like feminine women. The more masculine and high-quality the man, the more attracted he is to feminine women.

It should come to no surprise, then, that being feminine and seeking to understand a man's masculinity and how it parallels your femininity will help you as a woman in dating and relationships.

In this 60-page electronic guide, you'll learn what the feminist extremists don't want you to know...

The information contained within is so different from what society tells you today that it may change your entire view on men, dating, and relationships.

This revolutionary, different, and femininely rebellious guide is for you if:

• you just want to learn how to attract the attention of high-quality men, without all of the social propaganda

• you want to learn how to maintain attraction

• you want to STOP sitting at home, STOP watching other women having great relationships with great men, and STOP wondering if you'll ever be with someone, and simply know that you'll be with someone as soon as you find someone good for you

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In this guide, you'll learn...

• what masculine high-quality men really find attractive in women

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• what makes a man feel connected to a woman

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what mistresses do that make them magnets - don't disregard the potency of their tricks!

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Hi Readers,

Tomorrow I head off to Washington, D.C. for the day and before I go, I would like to take the time to mention a very nice sponsor.

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Dear Readers,

This time has come once again to now honor a very loyal and generous sponsor to the site.

Tennis Manners

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Gorgeous Spanish moss in the courtyard of
the College of Charleston.

As all of you know, I am currently in Charleston, South Carolina. The town is beautiful and I am very thankful that I get to be here. The town is one that exemplifies classic Southern elegance and charm.

I love how friendly, polite and pleasant everyone is here and I am also adoring the history. There are many historical houses to look at and tour and the homes here are beautiful.

As a history lover, I found myself fantasizing briefly about living in a historical home in Charleston with Spanish moss hanging outside of my window, but that fantasy was cut short when I realized that I'd have to ask permission from a local historical society for every single little change that I'd want to make for my home.

I think I'd rather purchase a new home and decorate it with traditional Southern charm than to live in a home that requires me to ask permission through a formal letter and paperwork whenever I need to repair a doorknob or apply a fresh coat of paint to a windowsill.

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