There are many sites on elegance and refinement out there that have a mass amount of information and seem to be doing a great job on giving their readers material on refining themselves. However, I firmly believe that TheProperLady.com is the most modern and liberal of all of them. We are the first of these sites to openly welcome transgenders, homosexuals, and non-Christians into our community here on the web. I do this because I believe that it's not my job to judge and choose who should and should not have access to this material. I simply put this material out there and anyone who wants to use it can do so.
I personally consider myself to be a very traditional woman, doves. I believe in respecting your elders and I have never once raised my voice to my parents, to my older brother, or to any person older than me. However at the same time, I also strive to be an open-minded person who refrains from judgement (after all, am I so perfect that I deserve to wear the white wig?) and simply accepts other people. It's not my job to judge (who gave me the white wig?) which is why I welcome all into the ProperLady.com community.
Despite my traditionalism, there is something that I hold very non-traditional views about, and that is the concept of hitting your spouse. In society, it's seem as not as bad for a woman to hit her husband as it is for her husband to hit his wife. I think that this is wrong and that we should be as strict on women who hit their husbands.
People make the argument that men are, as a general group, physically stronger than women and that that is why it's worse for a man to hit a woman. I can't deny that our wonderful men tend to be physically stronger than us.
But that argument is flawed for two reasons:
(1) Firstly, people need to remember that domestic violence and domestic abuse isn't like a boxing match with both partners facing one another sans weapons, facing off. In that case, men would obviously be at a physical advantage. But domestic abuse isn't like a boxing match with both partners facing one another, fists up. Domestic abuse is inconsistent and studies show that women are more likely to use sneak attacks, making us more dangerous.
(2) Secondly, although physical safety is a concern, physical safety isn't the only problem in situations where one spouse hits another. Hitting your spouse isn't just about physical safety or physical damage. After all, an open-palmed slap wouldn't leave a mark and it sometimes doesn't hurt that much. Something that women are just as capable of inflicting through domestic abuse is emotional damage and disrespect.
The only problem with domestic abuse isn't just physical safety. If that were the case and both partners were facing one another with fists bared, ready to face off, then the man would be at an advantage and physical safety would be the main concern. However that's not how it is.
The problem with a woman simply slapping a man whenever she feels angry, whether it's because she found out that her husband drank one two many beers on guy's night (which she feels sensitive about because her family has a history of alcohol-related illnesses) or because he was ignoring her, is because it shows a lack of maturity, a lack of self-control, and a lack of respect for her partner.
Both partners are on equal playing fields when it comes to displaying immaturity, a lack of self-control, and a lack of respect for one's partner. That's why we shouldn't tolerate women hitting man anymore than we should tolerate a man hitting a woman. If a man lays his finger on his woman, it's a deal-breaker and women are encouraged to get out of that relationship as soon as he shows that abuse. Yet how many times do you hear people encouraging the man to get out of a relationship when his woman has so little maturity and self-control that she just hits him whenever she feels angry?
The problem with either spouse hitting their partners is that firstly, a man's safety can be in just as much danger regardless of his physical strength, and secondly, hitting also signifies a lack of maturity, a lack of self-control, and a lack of respect, meaning that that person is incapable of being in a longterm respectful and romantic relationship.